Male Chastity – The Pleasure of Denial
As part of our series of guides on male sexuality aka What’s In Your Pants we wanted to take a look at male chastity. If you’re curious, we’ve covered the basics here and have found some recommended reading for you to continue your journey.
What is Male Chastity?
If you don’t already know, male chastity in its purest form is abstention from sexual pleasure. Throughout history men have chosen to abstain from the base pleasure of orgasm, usually for religious reasons. This is why men who haven’t gotten lucky in a while might wryly suggest they’re living like a monk.
In more modern times, we’ve seen the growth of the #nofap movement. A dedicated group of guys who have decided that masturbation (and porn) is a bad thing. They cite a range of compelling health benefits that can be achieved by avoiding both. Including an improved sex life. That, of course, depends on how you define sex.
Perhaps of more interest to those with an interest in BDSM is the practise of male chastity as a sexual fetish. This kink has been slowly emerging as “a thing” in recent years.
How Is Male Chastity a Kink?
The short answer is that when you enter a male chastity relationship you give control of your orgasms to someone else. The chastity dynamic means that unless your master or mistress says so, you can’t orgasm. Much like the other types of chastity mentioned above, it involves a lot of control. In this instance, you’re giving the control to someone else.
The denial and anticipation followed by release results in an intensely pleasurable experience that many men find addictive.
Before we go any further, it’s important to talk about respect. A male chastity relationship should be entirely about mutual desires. Whilst it’s sometimes described as “enforced chastity” it should always be based on the desire and pleasure of both parties. So with the safety instructions out of the way, let’s take a look at what’s involved in chastity play.
How Does Male Chastity Work?
We’ll be approaching this question from two angles as there’s two parties involved in chastity play: The dom, and the sub. Before you enter into chastity play it’s important to have an open and honest conversation between dom and sub about what you want to get out of it. Like any relationship, you’ll both need to be happy with your role and how it’ll play out.
How Does Chastity Play Work For The Sub?
AKA the guy wearing the cock cage.
If you want to take part in chastity play, and yield control of your sexual pleasure to your partner, you need to think about what you want to get out of it. Do you envisage it as an everyday way of life, for agreed periods, or as part of a regular role play?
Giving this type of control over your body to another person requires a lot of thought, and may create unexpected emotions once you dip a toe into the chastity waters. So make sure you have open and ongoing dialogue with your partner.
How Does Chastity Play Work For the Dom?
AKA the person holding the keys to the cock cage.
You’ll be in the driving seat, your devoted sub has literally handed you the keys to their sexuality. As the keyholder, you’ll be playing an agreed role in controlling their sexual pleasure.
Male Chastity Cages
The other aspect of how male chastity play works is the way in which the sub hands over control of his joy department. In most cases, this involves the use of a male chastity cage. It’s most usually a metal or plastic device with a lock. It fits over the penis, and the key is retained by your partner. It’s impossible to masturbate in a cock cage, so your compliance is assured.
How Popular is Male Chastity?
Male chastity has greatly increased in popularity in the last few years. There’s a lot of curiosity about chastity cages and how to use them. The increase in mainstream media coverage of this aspect of bdsm play is testament to its growth. The inclusion of chastity devices on relatively mainstream sex toy sites such as Lovehoney and Bondara is also a clue as to levels of popularity. If they weren’t selling plenty of the devices, they wouldn’t bother giving them space.
The other answer is, you’ll never really know. But there’s a good chance that in your daily life you’ve interacted with someone wearing a chastity cage, and you’d no idea about the secret in their underpants.
Want to learn more about Male Chastity? Try these guides.